The First Great War for Satan's Asshole
"This hellyear shall be a most delectable banquet. Like a foul bone enveloped in vinegar, the fervor of these awful fucking nations will wither into nothing. We shall sit to the side and drink of this vinegar, and laugh." — an asshole soothsayer, before the ''Hellyear of The Great Vomiting, '''all fuck return'. Information '''The First Great War for Satans's Asshole '''was the first clash between different regions after the cumulative alliances reached a boiling point. It started in ''Hellyear of the First Grand Calamity, 'supreme war one' when The Dominion of The Spaghetti Men declared war upon United Skeletons after the disappearance of a fledgling nation by the name of Gunga Galunga. The Spaghetti Men suspected that this disappearance was the result of a dark ritual performed by the Skeletons and the Evil Wizard Satanists and thus launched an attack in the name of justice. Shortly after the declaration of war, the Skeleton's most hated arch-enemy; Helicoptera, re-entered the realm with no forewarning. A lone apache helicopter, in an act declared as terrorism by United Skeletons, entered Skeleton airspace and killed several skeletons before being stopped by Prime Sinister Boneulon’s best friend, Jones Rattle, who boldly sacrificed himself to end the terror. The apache helicopter crash-landed soon after in the garden of Harry Potter (Allegedly), destroying his newly sculpted statue of himself. Harry Potter (Allegedly) frowned wildly at this disrespectful deed and entered into an alliance with United Skeletons. The result of this alliance became "The Infernal Hell-Army of Freedom and Peace ", as officially named by the United Skeleton's government. The Spaghetti Men gladly allied themselves with the Helicopterans in response to the creation of this unholy union. This anti-skeleton alliance was to be called the "Coalition Against Slaughtery and Murdery". At this point, Helicoptera was collectively pissed that so much pain would be caused by what the Helicopteran government called a 'petty reason'. The Coalition soon started spreading war-propaganda depicting the Wizard and Skeleton alliance, informing the general public that they kill children (which is partially true) and rip the flesh from living people's bones and skin them alive (which is true). Several nations that had agendas similar to the Coalition or had lucrative trade agreements with the nations within soon after joined the Coalition and started arming their troops. The word got around what was happening thanks to one of United Skeletons master-spies and the Infernal Hell-Army started enlisting other nations as well. A telegram was sent to the Coalition by the Evil Wizards telling them that, instead of invading each other's nations and destroying their "beautiful architecture", they would instead declare one of the smaller nations as their battleground. The Coalition agreed to this and they decided to pick an unknown nation lost to time to serve as their battleground. This nation is now called The Infernal Arena, or in the common tongue simply as "The Battlefield". The war raged on to and fro throughout several other hellyears, but was effectively ended during the ''Hellyear of The Sulking Void, '''only skeletons survive', whereupon a majority of the nations involved in the war inexplicably sunk to the bottom of the gaping hellsea .